Tuesday, April 02, 2013


What is it about shopping that makes people act like heathens? During my many shopping excursions, I've encountered some crazy people.
It's as if there is some kind of transformation that occurs upon entering the parking lot, all civility gets thrown out the car window. I've narrowed most people down to four categories: Pushers, Invaders, Blockers or Talkers.

Pushers are people that are so desperate to get their bargains they plow into you without so much as an "I'm Sorry." Nope. Nothing. They just keep on keeping on. Wouldn't want to waste a few seconds to act like a human and perhaps miss out on that Charter Club sweater for 45% off.
If it's not the Pushers (you know who you are, lady with the blonde hair and glasses), it's the invaders.
Invaders do not know the concept of "personal space." Invaders are stealthier than Pushers, they sneak up on you and before you know it they are all up in your business. If you have an item laid out on a rack for perusal, they come along and lift it away, just to see what's underneath. If your cart is in the way, they'll move it, only to get even closer to you and the area you're looking at. If you refuse to move and let them also take a gander at the rack, you have become a Blocker.
Blockers can be aggravating, however I've noticed that they are, in most cases, the least rude. Blockers are the people, usually husbands who have been brought along to carry the bags, who block you from being able to look at merchandise. Most are daydreamers, unaware of their blockage until you politely ask to see something at which time they apologize and move along. However, if you encounter the "Cell-phoning" Blocker, BEWARE!, they are completely oblivious to any activity around them and it's best if you just give up and move on. Unless the Blocker then becomes, a Talker.
Talkers can come in the form of shoppers or workers, and once you encounter a Talker, it will be hard to run. Talkers will literally (really figuratively), talk you ear off. You may have made an innocent mistake and asked a Talker a simple question. However, by the time you realize you've engaged a Talker, it is already too late. They will comment on your items, your dress, how many pieces you want to take into a dressing room. They will talk about anything under the sun, much to the chagrin of those standing behind you in line. So to avoid accidental Talker-talk, it's best to always answer a polite, "No" to the question, "Can I help you find anything?". Or any other kind of question for that matter.

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